Listen.

You know when a black woman starts with "Listen" and ends with a period she has a strong point to make. Haha (Thanx Kev on Stage for that recent post on this. www.instagram.com/p/CDwUidDHh-f/) This has been a day of high highs and low lows. Basically, I'm 2020, as Kendrick Sampson put it recently in a widely shared IG post among my peers (https://www.instagram.com/p/CDuPaiuBIxf/). Par for the course, you know. But I am feeling like I can do anything right now. That I have all the time in the world. My growth mentality and my LIT AF life philosophy and practice of Buddhism has me believing that the impossible in most certainly possible. 

Let's take it back. Yesterday, two of my friends confessed via instagram posts that they had to let the tears flow. 2020 has been a bitch and it's not letting up. Two friends of my husband are in the depths of depression and out of no where gave 30 days notice to their landlord. They're leaving CA to go live with a relative that they already know is going to be problematic. Both of them freelance in TV production. There's no work. Another friend text me that she is climbing out of rough few days. When I asked if it was work of life related and that I was there to talk, her response was, "I'll just say it is challenging being a newly wed during a pandemic." I am just now realizing that even if she wanted to talk, it would be difficult... cuz obvi, they're stuck in the same place together. Maaannn.

Children are going back to school and the whole school goes into quarantine.
Teachers are having to change their wills.
45's man is making cuts to the post office and vote-by-mail is being threatened. Voter suppression, anyone?
45 might need a mandate to leave the White House.

And I can't exclude myself from this. On the way to the grocery store this afternoon, I was all kinds of gasp, cry, sniffle, repeat underneath my mask about the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep pain that my people have faced in this county since we first stepped foot here. Heart palpitations today. Too much suffering. We need reparations. Tell your congress rep to support H.R. 40 - it's literally just a commission to study and develop reparation proposals! (Learn more here)

But I digress. Not really. All this is relevant!

Here's the silver lining: I just got off of an encouragement call with the national arts department of SGI - my buddhist organization -  and my faith is restored. I am determining that I will be part of a new renaissance! I am determining that in the next 10 years of my life that the words that I write, that the roles that I play, that the worlds that I help build through my art will be part of a renaissance that transforms society. And that that work will sustain and enrich my life in these specific ways: (1) I will make at least 4x as much money as I did in 2019, in each consecutive year from the first, and (2) my company will be synonymous with value-creation in my field by creating plentiful opportunities and being a platform for voices that deserve to be amplified. 

I am so excited! Because now I have a specific goal, with a specific time frame and with a solid and sustainable mission. Now all I have to do is unite with my spiritual mentor with courageous action! 

Wayne Shorter, the Jazz saxophonist and composer, at 87 years young says, "My life is in a state of zero gravity." In other words, he's still moving forward. He's defying anything attempting to keep him locked in stagnation. Here, here!

I am choosing to look at this time of 2020 as a profound opportunity to cultivate resilience, wisdom, deep compassion, and tenacious courage to Never. Stop. Moving. Forward. And to buttress this phenomenal tower of ambition, I always go back to something Ava Duvernay once said, "If your dream is only about you, it's not big enough."

What if we think of 2020 like a windup toy? Every month, every challenge, every action is just the winding key being rotated - potential energy being stored up, and once the key is released, that energy is changed into motion! Let's GOOOOO!

Lastly, KAMALA HARRIS!!! 

Last summer, I posted a Productivity Prescription as a way to give myself and other self-employed artists and entrepreneurs a thorough plan of action each day. Now in the time of this COVID-19 crisis, it seems there's never been a better time to incorporate a strategy for productivity from a holistic perspective. 

I've made only minor updates from last summer's prescription and added a downloadable Productivity Prescription Chart for weekly planning. I hope this is helpful to someone. 

H O L I S T I C •  P R O D U C T I V I T Y • P R E S C R I P T I O N

I N S P I R A T I O N (Daily, 5-30 Minutes)

• Chant, Meditate, Affirm, Read

B R E A K F A S T (Daily)

• A nutrient rich start is a must to jump start a productive day centered on healthy choices. I like granola and fruit or a Protein Superfood smoothie with banana.

M O R N I N G • P E A K • P E R F O R M A N C E • P E R I O D (4 Hours, 5-6x Weekly)

• This is time to use the available daytime hours when the brain is powered up for productivity and the creative inner child is hungry for an outlet. 
• Use this time to scribble out ideas, build it, write it, have collaborative meetings, photograph, add detail to a script or plan, follow-up, reach out to new leads, try something new.
• Auditions, Rehearsals, Coaching

L I G H T • P H Y S I C A L • A C T I V I T Y (15 minutes, Daily. May be skipped on days of Heavy Physical Activity.)

• Take a break… And while you’re at it, move your body.
• Stretch those tight muscles. Do a few push-ups. Plank for 60 seconds. Cat and Cow, sun salutation, jump rope or do a couple or burpees. Or simply, take a little walk.

L U N C H (Daily)

• Because yum.

T H E • C H E C K - I N • P E R I O D (45 min, 4-5x Weekly)

• Catch up on the activity of industry leaders and mentors.
• Research the latest trends, news, data and predictions. 
• Use this time to support peers and encourage those next in line.

A F T E R N O O N • P E A K • P E R F O R M A N C E • P E R I O D (3 hours, 5-6x Weekly)

• Finishing strong preps you for the kind of consistency necessary for a productive artist life.
• Use this time to revise, add even more detail to a script or plan, get more specific, level up on goals already accomplished, analyze missed opportunities, edit, color correct, fine tune, upload, prepare prompts to head start the next Peak Performance Period.
• Auditions, Rehearsal, Coaching​

H E A V Y • P H Y S I C A L • A C T I V I T Y (3x Weekly, 45 Minutes May be accomplished A.M. or P.M.)

• Whether you're on Zoom with your favorite fitness pro, or exercising solo, committing to a lifestyle that incorporates an exercise regimen is a no-brainer these days. There’s too much supporting evidence to ignore.
• Bike, Yoga, Weight Train, Go for a run, Boxing, Calisthenics. Just Do It.
• (P.S. I know a guy who posts GREAT workout content on IG: https://www.instagram.com/yusef_brewster/

D I N N E R (Daily)

• There’s an opportunity here to finish strong with self-care.

G R A T I T U D E (5-30 Minutes, Daily)​

• Chant, Meditate, Affirm, Read
• Acknowledge a minimum of 5 things for which you are grateful.

If you find this useful or want to share ideas, please leave a comment down below!

What a time to be alive. To witness an unprecedented global pandemic in what is considered a modern world, an advanced 21st century society, has been a eye-opening experience thus far. From our worst, to our best, we human beings are revealing our latent truths.

I thought I'd use this time and space, live from my self-imposed isolation DAY 18, to reflect on a few topics: Corona & the Artist, Corona & Sickness, and Corona & Connection.

Corona & the Artist
Yesterday a friend of mine, who is one of our precious brick-and-mortar, old world, art-as-the-foundation-of-society types all but demanded that we--her circle of artist friends--create some work of art based on the times. "We have to," she emphasized. I paraphrased Nina Simone back to her: the job of the artist is to reflect the times in which we find ourselves. She added "to transform it. We are artists. That's what we must do." Agreed.

Admittedly... I was slightly less enthusiastic. For one, if there was ever a time I don't want anyone assigning me tasks I didn't sign up for, it's now. Plus, she would be the director in this outfit and I the actor... Again, being told what to do.... Nah, not right now. Now, is my time. 

But it had me thinking about what my call has been as an artist. I recognize these times when we are "Safer at Home" as one of possibility (pure potentiality - anyone?). It offers us a time for self-care, an opportunity to add to our skill set, to cultivate a creative garden. An actor friend of mine is posting monologues every week. "Actors act" he wrote in his caption. Musicians are playing on LIVE, dancers are choreographing virtually, my husband has found his way back to photoshop creating some DOPE digital art. So what is my artistic call? For now it's been a hodgepodge of a few things; but mainly, I've been called to reflect. Writing has always been my most instinctual method to reflect. We'll see what comes of it. Though more than an outcome, I want to focus on the process of putting thought to word. That's it, then. That's what it will be.

Below is the first of a Haiku poem thread I posted on twitter today (Part 1 of 4):

Corona & Sickness
So, ​I was fully accepting of my responsibility as a member of society to help mitigate the spread by keeping my ass at home. You know, flatten the curve. Not a problem. A few people I know have joked together about Quarantine not feeling so different from our normal lives. Haha. Accurate AF. 

But all joking went out of the window when I got a tickle in my throat that turned into a dry cough and a tight chest for 6 days.

My mind went there, naturally. What the *%#! 

Ihavebeenselfisolating Ihavebeenwashingmyhands Ihavedisinfectedeveryknobswitchandfacuet Doireallyhavethisfuckingvirus Howthehellamigoingtogettestediftherearenofuckingtests Maybeitsagoodthingifihaveitthenicandeveloptheantibodies Ibetternotgetsickerthanthis Whatifigetsickerthanthis Thisissomebullshit Iwillnotoverreacticanhealmyself Iamtiredofthisijustwanttofeelnormalagain Okayiamjustgoingtodoallthethings 

So I did all the things I have known, and heard, and read, and were recommended to me! And with the confidence that I am a healthy young person with a relatively strong immune system and without a fever, I marched into an ALL OUT battle with whatever the heck this was that was causing this attack. Here was my routine:

MORNING:
Vitamin C
Chew and swallow a slice of fresh ginger
Hot tea with local honey, lemon, ginger and peppermint drops
Black Seed Oil
Yoga

AFTERNOON:
Hot tea with local honey, lemon, ginger and peppermint drops
Multivitamin
Natural Cough Syrup

EVENING
Vitamin C
Hot tea with local honey, lemon, ginger and peppermint drops
Oil of Oregano
Steam! (Covered head over steaming water infused with lavender essential oil and peppermint drops)

After an honest 3 1/2 days straight of this routine... I was better. Then I was great. Now, I'm back to 100% and I could not be more grateful!! Being sick during this time was really messing with my mind. I was fighting hard not to be defeated by this, to climb out of the rabbit's hole it was sending me down. If I am being 100, 100... I feel like I experienced some mild version of this thing. Maybe, maybe not. But I can't be sure because I was never tested. So in isolation I will remain along with the rest of LA on lockdown until further notice. 

Here's a picture of ALL THE THINGS - my arsenal during the battle:

Corona & Connection
First things first:

Corona & Connection cont'd
Giuseppe and I (and Clover) got our dance on for 2 hours Saturday night. #clubquarantine was just what we needed! Beautiful experience. Then I checked back in on Wednesday night for his When We all Vote campaign with Michelle Obama and was inspired and moved that his party with a purpose resulted in 300K potential new registered voters (last I checked)!!

Get in on that: www.whenweallvote.com/dnice

This time has offered many new opportunities to connect with our communities and families. Have you? I've heard it time and time again. For me, I have talked to relatives I haven't in too long and friends that I hardly do. Shout out to Zoom!!

There's more to say here. But I think I've said enough for today. More to come...

It's up!

We had the best time pretending that it was a cold, snowy day in 80-degree weather in Los Angeles for this incredibly sweet commercial spot for Citi Card.

The story goes: a young woman is inspired to reveal exciting news to her husband in the most endearing way. So, she uses her Citi Card to pick up all of the necessities, meanwhile racking up points. Click below to play the final product on ispot.tv.

Our director Cole was so easy to work with, so inspiring. I was blown away watching our DP, Autumn, create. The entire team was a dream!

My fellow actors Idil, Alejandro, Cynthia and most of all my TV husband, Tristen, really gave so much of themselves to create a positive, fun, and beautiful energy. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to help me bring this story to life. This one is special for me. This is the first time I've played the one and only hero in a commercial. It meant so much to be able to bring such a relatable moment in the life of this everyday woman to the screen. I was grateful to have been chosen to represent her.

Here's how I booked it. This was one of those super quick turnarounds. My agent called me the night before to see if I would be available for the audition midday the following day, less than 24 hours. I used all of my tools: imagination, empathy, love, play, discovery and left feeling pretty good about what I'd done. At 9pm that night, I got another call from my agent saying my callback would be the next morning. I went in, did my best to create chemistry with my scene partner, changed my hair as requested by the director, changed it back as redirected by him, and left again feeling good about a solid callback audition. I got about 10 minutes away before getting a call from casting to come back! There was a mistake (or something) and they needed to see me again. Great news! I went back did the whole thing again with another would-be tv husband and booked the job! Tuesday was the audition. Wednesday was the callback. Wednesday night I was put on "avail". On Thursday I got the call that I booked the job. By Thursday afternoon I was in for a wardrobe fitting. Friday was the first day of filming. We shot over the weekend and pictured wrap on Sunday!! It was a great week!

 Here are a few BTS and screen grabs from our precious spot:

Aww man.

​I’m going to share this “live-writing” stream-of-consciousness post as it is happening.

Here is my attempt to unpack a big ol’ cry that still has my eyes feeling that tired, slightly cool sensation that lingers, like a reminder.

K. For context, I was just watching an episode of Queer Eye where a girl of about 11 years old nominated her dad for the show. The little girl ice skates and is damn good! Her dad is working on showing up for her so Johnathan brings him to the ice skating rink to watch her practice and get tips from none other than Olympic figure skating icon, Michelle Kwan! And it’s an unbelievable, magical moment for the girl, for her dad, for Johnathan and... daggonit... who gets swept up in the emotions? Me.

But my joyful laughing/crying, happy-for-this-lovely-young-lady, morphs ever so smoothly into tears of grief, tears of pain for my own missed opportunities during childhood.

Ugh. Is this because my birthday is coming up in about a month? Again?! Good lord. And the waterworks turn into a full on wail as I go through the moments I felt so alive and connected to gymnastics and dreamed of being an Olympian... All of which was all but shattered by my own father’s words: “It’s too late, you’ll never go to the olympics. Do you know how early those girls start training?” I think on how many times I’ve played that conversation over in my head. I acknowledge that this tape runs through my head even today, and often, and has become a fully realized inner voice applicable to so many of my goals and dreams now.

I cry for my 6 or 7 year old self. I weep for the adult who wrestles with the fear that I’m always too late. That I’ll never achieve it. That I’m not good enough. That I’ll never EVER catch up.

I mourn for the little me that had time, a supple body, a limitless reservoir of possibilities. I wish I could go back in time. Give her everything she needed. Say all the right words, shower her with encouragement and resources, and mentors.

But I can’t go back in time. I have to make it work now. I literally cannot change what’s already happened. And it breaks my heart. It makes me angry. It hurts. And the shittiest part about it is, that’s just the way it is. TIME KEEPS A-ticking. All I can do is move forward now, and I can’t seem to find any solace in that anywhere. Ugh.

I wish I didn’t remember. I wish I didn’t feel it. I wish it didn’t matter. But it does. Ugh.

I forgive him. I forgive both my parents for everything. They were babies themselves just trying to figure it out. They won’t even remember, and probably hardly realize. It’s my burden to bear now. I’m a whole entire adult... and have been for a while now.

​*sigh

E as in elephant
In my own words.

What a perfect day!

On June 23, 2019 I married my best friend, Giuseppe, at the most magical wedding I've ever been to! I could just let the photos speak for themselves... but I'll divulge.

We had so much fun! We were so incredibly happy and every room was filled with overflowing joy! Guests flew in from Spain, Italy, New York, Texas, Atlanta and Chicago. Our LA friends drove in, danced in and showed out! And everyone looked amazing, especially my Mom!

The highlights of this glorious day are plenty! They include dancing with Shannon before the dresses went on, taking one fabulous photo after the other with our SHOW-STOPPING bridal party, the numerous rounds of "BACIO" with all of the Italian passion and fire one would expect from a room full, my groom playing "Your Song" by Elton John on the grand piano, our beautiful and feisty three flower girls, my new SUOCERO (father-in-law) having a full dance card all night, and demanding to make his toast with an impromptu guitar serenade in Italian, my dance with my father, my brothers' toasts, and last but not least jumping behind the wheel of our Maserati convertible for a newlywed tour of Hollywood before hitting the after party.

The live music was dreamy. The dance music was on point. The food was amazing (I'm told), The MC was lit, our officiant was REGAL, the flowers were gorgeous... I still can't believe how beautiful our day was! It was the best wedding I've been to.. and it was mine. All my dreams come true.

We did it! I could not have imagined a better day! But obviously, it was team effort and my team was MASTERFUL!

Venue: Carondolet House
Catering: TresLA
​Photographer: Jeff Janke (@wearebigpictures)
Coordinator: Sanaz Azad (@eventsbysanaz)
Musicians: Fitch and the Fog (@danny_fitch)
MC: Antjuan Tobias (juantontobias)
​DJ: DJ ALLURR (@theallurr)
Florals: Ninfas Flowers (@ninfasflowers)
Rentals: Fancy Tables (@fancy_tables)
Cake/Desserts: Portos Bakery
Dress: Vera Wang for David's Bridal
Groom's Suit: Hugo Boss
Hair: Ashley Johnson (@jackiesangel1980)
Make-up: Tamika Patrice (@tamikapatrice)

My gorgeous bridesmaid, Crystal-Lee sent me a video today with a message that sums up exactly how it has felt every day since June 23rd:  "I wish I could watch you get two get married every Sunday!" Me too, C-Lee! 

The season 2 finale of S.W.A.T. will be an explosive one!

I have been been catching up on the show this season and feel super late to the party! The storylines and action are high-octane! Shemar Moore is at the top of his game in my humble opinion.

Tune in on May 16th, 10/9c on CBS and catch me as the field reporter, Abby.

Episode 23 “Kangaroo” touches on extremism and the lengths some will go to in order to make a statement.

I’m super happy to have been cast and to get to do what I love! Here’s hoping there’s much more to come, and soon!

Last week was a very good week! 

On Thursday night a few friends joined my fiancé and I for a mini viewing party for my episode of Grey's Anatomy. The day before, I got a call from my agent informing me that I'd also booked a small role on season 2 of S.W.A.T. starring Shemar Moore.

I shot over the weekend and am pretty excited to see the finished episode entitled, "Kangaroo" when it airs. I will certainly remember to add airing information here once it becomes available (unlike for Grey's when I stopped at a  few social media announcements). 

With this booking, I can acknowledge a  wave I seem to have caught in my career. So much of what we do and how we do it in this business is at the mercy of things unseen. But when you catch a good wave, you ride it! I can remember a similar wave like this in Atlanta before relocating to Los Angeles. The bookings seemed to come back to back. It's feast of famine, they say. 

I must say though, there are a few things I am sure helped me this time around:

1. New Headshots - it's true. Sometimes you need to offer a fresh look at your face. Lol.
2. New Reps - I signed with a new agency last fall and immediately knew that the new energy would serve me well.
3. Staying Ready - Cliche but also true. I've been keeping myself sharp so that I could walk right through the next open door.
4. Faith - the Never Give Up spirit that I chant to renew regularly assures me that my prayers will not go unanswered. Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo.

​Here's to more of where that came from! 

This week I shot an episode of the landmark television show Grey’s Anatomy. With last night’s episode, Grey’s becomes the longest running medical drama in television history.

Luckily for me, I was filming my last day of an upcoming episode on the same day Grey’s achieved this astounding benchmark and had the chance to celebrate with cast, crew and producers. It was truly an honor!

My episode, entitled “The Whole Package” will air in early April on ABC. I’ll be sure to post details as they become available. Stay tuned!

Tickets: http://thewallis.org/inspector

​If you are an arts patron, if you are a theatre lover, if you are a person living in this society and find yourself in LA between now and February 10th... you've got to see this show!

And not just because I am in it. Seriously. I am the least of a reason. I am on stage as a Supernumerary; simply put, as a representation of another segment of the society in a different place and time.

See it because the cast is brilliant. See it because the direction is alive. See it because the set is spectacular. See it because it is provocative. These are not overstatements. I am in awe every night by the magic of this production, the execution by the players and the #message it carries for all of us.

An Inspector Calls runs January 22 - February 10th @ The Wallis
Tickets: http://thewallis.org/inspector